I Need Help

Struggling partway through doesn’t mean starting over, and it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with your child. Find what’s happening below.

“My child won’t sit on the potty at all”

Likely causes: fear, a control/power struggle, or physical discomfort.

What to try: make the potty low-pressure — let your child sit fully clothed with a book, no expectation to perform. What to stop doing: bribing or pleading in the moment; it turns the potty into a battleground.

“It was working, then stopped” (regression)

Common triggers: a new sibling, a move, a daycare change, illness, or any big life change.

How to reset: go back to the basics — frequent reminders, sitting after meals — without punishing or shaming. Treat it as a pause, not a failure.

“Accidents keep happening at daycare/school but not at home”

This is usually an environment and routine mismatch, not a training failure. Align with caregivers on timing, cues, and the exact words you use at home so the routine carries over.

“My child holds it in / seems constipated”

Withholding is common, but it’s also the one situation on this page that’s worth a pediatrician call rather than just a parenting fix. If you’re seeing signs of constipation or your child is regularly holding bowel movements, check in with your doctor before troubleshooting further.

“We’ve been at this for months with no progress”

Sometimes the right move is to pause entirely and try again in 4–6 weeks. This is common, and it’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong — some kids just need a bit more developmental runway.

When to involve your pediatrician

This is general information, not a diagnosis — but these are worth a call:

• Pain or crying during urination or bowel movements
• Blood in urine or stool
• Complete refusal to engage past an age your doctor would flag as unusual
• Ongoing constipation or withholding

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